Jennie Finch's Pitching Tip of The Day

This is what happens when I'm bored. Don't get the wrong idea; I think Jennie Finch is an amazing athlete. I also admire the fact that inspires young softball players, and she contradicts the stereotype that all softball players are ugly, ginormous, lesbians. Plus, it's pretty cool that she's able to profit from marketing softball gear. However, she's quite ditzy. During the college world series she does these ridiculous short "instructional" clips where she gives you an idiotic "tip" that should be blatantly obvious to anyone with a modicum of common sense. If you need to know more, look here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennie_Finc

h. She's one of the more recognizable female athletes these days. Anyway, I just couldn't resist:

Jennie Finch stands just outside the gate to the softball field, wearing a red, white, and blue uniform and a glove. She smiles and waves at the camera.

Jennie Finch: Hi, I’m Jennie Finch, and I like totally pitch for team USA. Today I’m gonna give you some like world class pitching tips! Come on!

She attempts to walk through the gate, onto the field, but pushes on the wrong side of the gate. She struggles with the gate for several seconds, looking perplexed, when the camera man finally speaks up.

Cameraman: Jennie, other side.

Jennie: Ohhhhhhh

Jennie opens the gate, walks to the mound, and spins around to face the camera.

Jennie: If you’re not a U.S. Olympic Gold Medalist like me, people hit like balls and stuff at you when you pitch. It’s important to like catch them so you don’t mess up your totally cute face.

Jennie bats her eyes at the camera. Sees her reflection in the lens, becomes mesmerized, and starts primping.

Cameraman: AHEM!

Jennie: Oh, right! Now, like pay super close attention. When someone hits a ball at you, use your glove, not your bare hand! Like this!

Cameraman lobs a ball at her. Jennie catches it and smiles.

Jennie: That’s all for today! Stay tuned throughout the… Squints and sounds out the word slowly brrrroaaadcast for more pitching tips, from me, Jennie Finch!